Maybe it’s 6:00 AM on a Saturday. Maybe you have the flu. Maybe you stayed up too late watching a documentary about fungi. Or maybe you are just… done.

We get it. The spirit is willing, but the lower back is weak.

But you are a dad, and surviving the weekend with kids requires entertainment. The good news? You don’t actually have to stand up to win at parenting. Enter: Horizontal Parenting.

This isn’t laziness; it’s efficiency. These are tired dad games designed to keep your children engaged, laughing, and playing, while you remain completely stationary on the carpet.

Here are 5 games to play while lying down that turn your exhaustion into an interactive event.

1. The Patient (Dr. Toddler)

The Gist: The ultimate doctor game for tired parents. You aren’t napping; you are “unconscious” for medical reasons.

The Setup: Lie on the couch or floor. Provide your child with a “medical kit” (stickers, bandages, a toy thermometer, or just a spoon).

How to Play: Tell them you have a severe case of “Sleep-itis” and you need urgent care. Their job is to check your heartbeat, bandage your “wounds” (stickers on your face), and give you shots.

Pro Tip: If they stop playing, make a loud, cartoonish snoring noise. This signals that the patient is “fading” and needs more attention immediately.

2. The Sleeping Giant

The Gist: A high-stakes stealth game that counts as quiet games for hyper kids.

The Setup: You are the Giant. Lie in the middle of the floor with your eyes closed. Place a “treasure” (the TV remote or a bag of chips) near your stomach.

How to Play: The children must sneak past you or steal the treasure without waking the Giant. If you hear them or feel them, let out a roar and blindly grab at the air. If you touch them, they have to start over.

Pro Tip: Keep your eyes closed the entire time. It forces them to be quiet and gives you a legitimate rest.

3. The Tattoo Parlor

The Gist: Turn your back into a canvas. This is one of the best passive play ideas if you trust your child with ink.

The Setup: Shirt off (or wear an old white t-shirt you don’t care about). Hand them a set of washable markers.

How to Play: You are the customer at a tattoo shop. Request a specific design (“I want a dragon eating a pizza on my left shoulder”) and then lie face down while the artist works.

Pro Tip: This is secretly a back-scratching session. If the markers aren’t washable, you are playing a very different, much riskier game.

4. What’s On My Butt?

The Gist: A tactile guessing game and a classic low effort parenting hack.

The Setup: Lie face down on the carpet. Have a pile of random household objects nearby (toys, kitchen utensils, a shoe).

How to Play: The child selects an item and places it on your back or… posterior. You have to guess what it is based on the weight and feel.

Pro Tip: Get it wrong on purpose. “Is it… a live badger?” “Is it… a monster truck?” Your confusion is their comedy.

5. The Human Mountain

The Gist: Low mobility games for kids often involve cars. In this version, you are the terrain.

The Setup: Lie face down. Give the kid a handful of Matchbox cars.

How to Play: Your spine is the highway. Your head is the parking garage. They drive the cars over your legs, back, and arms.

Pro Tip: This actually feels like a deep tissue massage if they press hard enough. Encourage them to “drive” over the knots in your shoulders.

You Can Rest When They’re… Well, Never.

But you can rest while they play.

Horizontal parenting ideas aren’t about checking out; they are about conserving energy so you can make it to bedtime. Whether you are playing the sleeping giant game or just letting them drive trucks on your spine, you are engaging with them on their level (literally).

Need more ideas for low energy toddler activities?

Download FunDad on the App Store. Our “Low Energy Dad” filter gives you instant game ideas that respect your battery level.